In yet more stupid news, Percy Julian Middle School in Oak Park, Illinois has banned hugging.

“Last year we would see maybe as many as 10 students on one side (of the hallway), 10 on the other and then, going in opposite directions, would sort of have a hug line going on and you could see where that would be a problem,” said Victoria Sharts, principal of Oak Park’s Percy Julian Middle School.

Really?  Please, tell me where a bunch of kids hugging is a problem?  Kids like each other and want to hug.  Would you rather they lined up and had knives or guns and tried to kill each other?

Sharts said, “Hugging is really more appropriate for airports or for family reunions than passing and seeing each other every few minutes in the halls.”

Give me a break!  Kids have been hugging for hundreds of years.  How about you get back to trying to educate them instead of policing public displays of affection?

The principal says the rampant hugging is creating bottle necks in the hallway and making kids late for class.

Oh nos!  Rampant hugging!  Oh, the humanity!  What ever will we do with all these kids hugging and being late to class?  Oh, how about you enforce some tardy rules instead of banning hugging?  Try giving the tardy students detention.  Nah, doing your job is too damned difficult, isn’t it?

Furthermore she says although hugs are supposed to be handshakes from the heart some times they don’t seem so innocent. “Too long, too close, and usually between boys and girls,” Sharts said.

Call the police!  Hugging between heterosexuals is wrong!  OMG!  Kids without the same body parts are hugging.  Call the press.

The principal is just an uptight PIA who can’t discern between appropriate and inappropriate hugging.  Instead of just banning hugging lines, she bans the entire concept of hugging another human being.

After school, while safely outside the building, the students seemed determined to show what they think of the policy, one hug at a time.

Ha!  Good for the kids.  Hug your butts off.  If it were me, I’d keep hugging inside school to protest such an idiotic idea.

Sharts said the hug ban is just one element of a comprehensive discipline and anti-bullying plan. High-fiving in the hallways is also frowned upon.

Ooooo, better not high-five.  That might lead to hugging.  And we all know that hugging leads to bullying, right?

This principal is a moron.  How about just keeping the hallways clear and inform students they can hug, just keep it out of the middle of the hallway?  How about separating students who hug just a little too long and teach them why it’s inappropriate in a hallway?  Nah, let’s just take hugging out altogether and get back to treating students like they’re mindless drones.  Forget about the fact that you have just taught an entire school that hugging, a social bonding ritual is now bad for society.